4. Your body reacts.
Our bodies are usually smarter than our minds. If you feel instinctively constricted in the chest, gut, or jaw when you’re dealing with someone, your body is telling you to run. Believe what you feel, especially if it’s fear.
It doesn’t matter whether you’re afraid of losing the relationship, your identity that’s wrapped up in the relationship or if you fear for your safety. If you’re more afraid to leave than to stay, run like the wind.
If you’re not ready to run, it’s time to seriously examine your motivation to stay in a state of anxiety. Fear is a parasite. Held down, unexamined or unexpressed, it turns on its host and will eat you from the inside out.
Like an animal chewing at a wound, when we don’t deal with the source of our anxiety, we attack ourselves instead of releasing our frustration and tending to our needs.
If your body and intuition are telling you that you can’t trust this person, it’s time to do some digging and figure out who you’re dealing with — or just get out. If you’re too afraid to look, you’ve already identified as a victim — and a user will smell that a mile away.
A healthy, safe relationship makes you feel like you can do anything. Its support lifts you up. It’s empowering. There’s no way to be empowered and a victim at the same time. And you’re the only one who can make that choice.